Welcome to my new blog concept, Self Help from the Seven Kingdoms. In it, I'll combine some of the most powerful quotes from George R.R. Martin's Game of Thrones universe (including House of the Dragon), with some of my favourite modern-day advice from self help books, podcasts, videos, and other media. It's a weird one - but it brings together a couple of passions of mine, and I hope it works!
I've been promising myself that I'd do something with this concept for many years, and even spoke to my late uncle about it, to which he said in his usual way, 'JFDI'. Well with House of the Dragon Season 2 just around the corner, I thought it's high time I put my keyboard where my mouth is.
After each week's Season 2 episode, I'll give a recap of my favourite quotes. But in the meantime, to whet your appetite, let's take a look at some of my favourites from Season 1.
"A Ruler's Duty is to Serve His People" - Viserys I Targaryen
This is a *chef's kiss* of a quote. So many leaders tend to reach their position of power, and forget who helped to put them there, and in some ways who keeps them there.
I've always resonated so much more with leaders who clearly had the people they were serving at the forefront of their minds. I think it's important to distinguish management and leadership here, because I've been fortunate enough to be inspired by plenty of servant leadership from the 'rank and file' in many organisations that I've worked in.
To be a leader, you simply have to serve others, otherwise what are you but a follower? To be a manager, in an ideal world you'd be a leader, but ultimately it's a position, rather than an emotion or choice of the followers to follow you.
What's interesting about the idea of a King in this period, is that of course leading well seemed a choice, given the lack of term length. Viserys interestingly does appear to make this choice, at least for the first part of the first episode, but his obsession with securing his family line becomes the start of his downfall.
As Viserys looks increasingly inwards, he literally rots to his core (to reveal some of the most fantastic costume design and acting of the decade in his golden mask scene), while his house is falling apart around him. The imagery around Viserys is stunning (see also the rotten side pointing to the Green side of his family at dinner, and the healthy side pointing to the Black), and I hope we get to enjoy similar imagery in Season 2.
If you're 'just' a rank and file employee, embrace your opportunity to lead, don't wait for the title. If you're a manager, remember who you serve, and see the success follow that servitude.
“In battle, we find our true selves.” - Daemon Targaryen and “Embrace the unknown, for it shapes our fate.” - Mysaria
'A smooth sea never made for a skilled sailor' so the quote goes, and I highly believe in this anecdote and the House of the Dragon equivalents for many reasons.
I've always been naturally attracted to challenges, at least of an intellectual nature. I can very soon wonder what on earth I got into, but I'm thankful to be able to look back on my life and think that everything was worth it.
Teaching via Teach First was so out of my comfort zone, but it made me able to speak comfortably in public and be able to give product demos in my current role. It helped me be organised, be able to respond to situations on my feet, and so much more. Whilst it was incredibly challenging, and I would argue that 6 weeks is probably not enough prep for such an important vocation. But what I will say is that it truly shaped me for my current role to the extent that I almost doubt I'd be able to do it without building that muscle elsewhere.
The idea of 'battle' is a bit extreme for the corporate world or even modern day for the vast majority of us, but I do like the concept of the 'great unknown'. We just don't know what's around the corner, but every downside has an equivalent upside, and in chaos comes opportunity.
If you're not growing, you're stagnating, and so I'd always encourage someone to find themselves a true challenge in their life and/or work.
If you don't want to overwhelm yourself, then get yourself a mentor, again whether in life or work. They will have been where you want to go, and be able to learn how best to stretch you. My guitar teacher Nick is amazing at this. He's often given me pieces where my initial reaction has been akin to 'you must be joking', only for me to be able to play them a few weeks later. My playing has improved more in the past year than in the previous five (there's still a long way to go though!.
“We forge our destinies with our own hands.” - Corlys Velaryon
I'm a huge fan of Corlys' character due to the way he can teach us as the viewer both the upsides and downsides of unashamed ambition.
As a 'second son', Corlys very much feels like he has a point to prove given the way inheritance works during the time period. Corlys finds a kindred spirit in the earlier episodes with Daemon, a fellow second son.
What's great though about the fate before Corlys here, is it forces him to forge his own path. Corlys becames a fierce sea captain, family man, and powerful ally to the Black side of House Targaryen. It's highly unlikely that a Corlys who didn't have to work at that would be remotely as formidable a character.
Lottery winners have an alarming habit of become zero-aires just as quickly as they became millionaires. Yet entrepreneurs who 'lost it all' tend to earn back their riches in time. Why? One word, hardship.
Conclusion
House of the Dragon has thrown up some great life lessons so far. Tune back in for my weekly round up of Season 2, and don't forget to subscribe so that you can get this straight to your inbox!
Further Recommended Reading:
Simon Sinek is one of the preeminent thought leaders in organisational leadership today. You can expect to see me recommend his books many more times in the future, such as Start With Why and The Infinite Game. But for now, given the focus of our first quote from Viserys on servant leadership, this felt like the perfect recommendation.
For me, this is THE book on modern leadership, and it'd be amazing if any people manager were required to read it. Sinek gives a rundown on the biochemistry of effective leadership and psychological safety, how to build empathy and trust, and why overly hierarchical leadership can lead to disasters such as plane crashes.
I love Sinek's talent for storytelling, which I feel is on a par with that of Malcolm Gladwell. We hear heartwarming tales about police outreach programs in New Jersey, and the way Costco prioritises employee retention and pay, even in times of economic and business hardship.
The courage to lead is so important in this modern day and age, and this is a brilliant primer on what it really takes.
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